Pokemon Host Club
by Lord Sheridan
Summary: Team rockets Gym was forclosed on and turned into a Host Club for pokemon run by mama-san Ash. Jigglipuff is the number 1 customer
1. Chapter 1

Hey u guys so this is my first fanfic and not to brag but my friends said it was pretty good so im posting it here. Basicly its about a Host Club but with pokemon not humans exsept Ash and the elite 4 who run competing clubs.

don't read this if ur a kid!

Ik Powerzone Gym is in Bangkok but this takes place in China because thats more exotic.

Also this is in HD so pls try to imagine it that way

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"U have a sexy body", Pikachu said to jigglipuff who just walked into the Powerzone Gym. The gym hwas converted into a host club after team rocket went into forclosure so now it was all red inside with a lot of candles. now Ash owned it and was the mama-san of the host club "Pimps R Us."

It wasnt all daisies and iamonds tho because they had the rival chain called "Hoes R Us (or is it Hose R Us? Hos R Us? idrc) taking away their customers.

Jigglipuff laughed in a giggly way and sunk her eye pikachus spiky hair. All the pokemon had really cool haircuts because they were in a host club even the rock types. Mewtew was actually the number 1 host not Pikachu, obviously.

"Lol girls r dumbasses they pay for this", Pikachu was wearing a tux. he didnt rly say that outloud because this was his job to flirt with girls so he just said.

Metapod was in the other corner with Kyurem and he was trying to make her feel better because shes butt ugly. Her face is basically like this metal thing if u don't know who Kyurem is.

Metapod:

Harden

**Harden**

_Harden_

He was trying to make her feel pretty but it wasn't rly working.

Next this dude N showed up. N is always talking about humans not having relationships with pokemon etc if u don't know who I mean.

"Your putting these pokemon in slavery by having them work at Pimps R Us"! shouted N at Ash.

"Not u again. if u were smart you'd see that this is better because pokemon date pokemon and not humans but your baka so u dont even know what u want to think", Ash shouted back angrily.

N's HP went down. Ash used pikachus lightning razor horns chain on him.

"Im going to tell officer Jenny"! N was PISSED.

"No u wont", said Ash", because…" Ash grabbed him by his choker. "Jennys dead"!

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there will be more chapters because my friends said they want to know how it ends . ill say why jenny died and maybe put in some steamy scenes idk tell me what u want

Please rate or review if u have time or something k bye


	2. Chapter 2

Ok so last time someone got mad because i said Kyurem was ugly. i just want to say shes a really cool pokemon just her face is a little bad but that doesnt mean shes not really cool.

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"**Jennys dead**"? said N while Ash was choking him, "i don't even beleive u".

"DON'T TELL HIM ASH", said Pikachu. Jigglipuff started to cry (she is the number 1 customer of Pimps R Us btw) Pikachu braided her hair.

If u want to know the reason Jigglipuff is so round is because she is like a piniata exsept she has coins inside her so she is freakin rich $$$

"No he needs to know", said Ash. "Because hes a dumb fart maybe hell see why pokemon have to be with pokemon. P.S. **U r a pervert** for liking pokemon in that way!" N looked at him vertically dramatically (he is still being choked).

"Guess what. _Youll never find the body because…"_ Ash through the pokeball from his pants and-

"**Jenny I choose u**"!

A skeleton appeared on the ground! it was wearing Officer Jenny uniform.

N "Nooo its not true I just saw her"! "How could u"! he fell to the floor crying.

"Well arent there like 10 of them", said metapod.

"We dont know which town this one is form". said sh.

"How did this happen"- N was kinda upset but not really.

"She came to see Mewtew and overdosed on booze. We couldnt really call the police because she was the police. No one noticed she was missing becase we got a ditto to replace her".

Suddenly a Ponyta galloped in. Ash asked a Snorlas to sit on N for a while then he went up to the Ponyta.

"How can I help u. Which type do u like- prince type, cute type, hentai, fire type, water –"-

Ponyta interrupted – "EGG I WANT AN EGG TYPE".

"Dude thast shota ok whatever we have one. U pick a color" Ponyta chose pink. "Nice choise" Ash said as he hands Ponyta the egg.

The egg is warmly vibrating. Ponyta cuddled with it.

"U know what eggs are the best because they dont talk to much and they never leave u because they dont have legs" U could tell Ponyta was sad from a last breakup with another Ponyta. Everyone in the room said a prayer for Ponyta that he would be happy (ugh…Im kinda tearing up writing this. it reminds me of my last gf )

Suddenly Caitlin one of the Elite 4 fell threw the ceiling. If u dont know her she is a stuck up ***** who thinks shes better then everybody else. (f u Caitlin)

"A SPY"! Ash shouted loudly so that everyone would pay attention.

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I tried to make it longer this time but ik its still short but ill work on it thx


	3. Chapter 3

Hey yall so last chapter someone asked me how N could talk if Ash was choking him. U know how if u scx a lot ur butt gets more oxygin (well I dont rly KNOW that for sure but thats what this guy at school told me) so its like that. Yeah. If u have any more questions about the stroy just ask me.

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When Caitlin fell threw the roof she smashed onto Ponytas egg and it busted all over Ponyta. Ponyta was crying and freaking out and he didnt know what to do so he ate the egg. His HP went up.

"A SPY"! Ash shouted towards Caitlin.

"I'm not a spy I sware! Yeah Im from Hose R Us but I want to join Pimps R Us OK"!

"Yeah rite ur lying. Why else would u be hiding on the roof, im not a freakin idiot". Ash said.

"**LETS BATTLE**" Ash through out a pokeball "I choose u Genesect"! (if u dont know what a genesect is its really cool like a mecha or the power rangers when they are all put together)

BUT ANOTHER SKELETON appeared on the ground! It was wearing Officer Jenny Uniform.

"Wtf" said Pikachu. "I thought we only –_accidently u people duh_- killed one Jenny".

"Oh crap." said Ash "I mean I wonder where she came form"?!

"Oh my gosh Im going to tell on u"! Caitlin said because shes a b****. She tried to get up but her leg was broken from farting out of the roof so fast.

"Ash! They r going to blame us for breaking Cailtin legs what do we do", said Pikachu.

Ash is smart so he had a idea first "We should kill her and put her in the pokeball to get rid of the evidense".

Pikachu had a flashback. The screen gets all wavy while hes having his flashback. He was just a Pichu in the flashback. His mother is a onyx.

"Mom am I adopted"? said Pichu.

"Effin NO" said his mom

"Okay", said Pichu.

But he did not look like his brothers and sisters so u can see he had a sad childhood.

Anyway, Caitlin was screaming really annoying. "Your YAKUZA" she said.

Ash didnt say anything but where do u think he got the money $$$ to buy the forclosed gym for the Host Club? Hmm…

Epona was really suspicious this whole time btw.

Mewtew noticed him being suspicious "U know what I just noticed. I think Ponyta is working with Caitlin as a spy"!

"Holy crap ur right he even ate one of our top hosts" Ash screamed. "That egg was really popular"!

"Pink is the best one", said Pikachu.

Just then Ponyta evolved into rabidash.

"The vitamins from the egg made him evolve"!

Rabidash used fire magic circle culture attack. Ashs arm fell of.

Weeks later N turned up in Snorlas but crack but he was still alive so dont worry.

"But how should we kill them", Ash said.

"Im not sure. They can stay at my house until we decide", said Pikachu.

"**Ok".**

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I didn't really leave off on a cliff hanger this time butt his is forboding whats going to happen next. It's a secret but something might happen at pikachus house.


	4. Chapter 4

Hey so im gonna try a experiment next chapter well I don't wanna tell u why but its gonna be differint from the rest of the story. aka chapter 5 will be differint dont ask me about it later please.

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At Pickachus mansion, AKB48 was waiting there because Pimps R Us was closed. They were new customers and 48 is kinda a lot of people so Ash was like "whao money".

"We couldnt find u at the Host Club so we got ready because we were waiting", they were all naked exsept for nipple tape and butt tape (im inventing butt tape right now jsyk. its basicly two stickers as a smiley face so you're butt is smiling. like wal-mart only the price is the same)

Oh yeah and number 48 whoever she is wasnt wearing the stickers in her butt they were on her eyes because Officer Jenny before she died stopped her for public indesency.

"OK im gonna take AKB48 back to Pimps R Us and Pikachu u take care of N, Cailtin, and Rabidach. make sure they dont escape before we think of what to do with them", said Ash.

"Leave it to me mama-san", says Pikachu. They were getting bored.

"Wanna go in my jacuzzi", said Pikachu.

"Not if u peed in it", said Rabidsh.

Back at the Host Club Ash was showing AKB48 the menu of hosts.

"Which do u like", Ash said. "we do not have 48 hosts but enough for threesome is ok, u are probably use to that anyway".

"No Ash", girl 37 (or whichever is the hot one) "I like **U**" she took of his hat and put it on her. he felt so unbalanced without his hat that he got dizzy and fell into her boobs that were about **5600Fmach3 500 horse power** breaks the sound barrier or gravity barrier or whatever.

Suddenly her boobs wrestled him to the ground because shes actually a BLACK LEATHER NINJA.

"NOOOOOOOO", Ash screamed. but she didnt hear him because he was actually a spirit in hell now.

"Lol", said the devil who was a squirtle. "U got tricked by pimps R Us assassin". He was in hell because he praticaly captured all the pokemon there are even the innocent ones like Flaffy. The devil didnt notice yet that he killed a couple jennys btw.

Meanwhile at Pikachus mansion, Rabidash has cooked him with his fire mane when he offered Pikachu a piggyback ride. Pikachu went to heaven though.

He used his telephone powers to talk to ash in hell.

"They tricked us and now were separated shit"

"U come pick me up"

"Hell no ur in hell u dumbass"

"Im coming there then and ur not my bff anymore"

Pikachu didnt answer. So Ash tried to climb up to hell by himself. BUT IT WAS ONLY A HEAVEN FOR POKEMON SO ASH COULDN'T GET IN

"Shiiit", said Ash.

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to be continued. uhh rate or review if u want ty


	5. Chapter 5

Hey again before I star the chap I just wanna say Im in a really good mood because I just finished writing my college application essay for MIT. I think I did a ok job so im gonna let u read it just dont steal it thnx.

MIT is my 1st choice and Yale is my back up school. augh I have a head ache just now but anyWAY ur probly wondering why MIT is my #1 school. Well its _because _Japan is the f***in best country in the world and MITsubishi is in **Japan**. aparently they're website is in English so lucky me heh

Tenchically school doesnt start until fall but I wrote this way ahead of time.

OK so there were 2 topics and ur supposed answer one but I went ahead and answered **both** so they can see I tried and maybe give me more points. Dont steal my idea and answer both questions on ur college app or ill be mad. Also remember dont steal my essays thnx

BTW I wrote one of these when I was high bet u cant tell which one. I cant tell when I read them. also dont do drugs thats just stupid. I took double the perscribed because I already took it that day on accident, but I tried to pierce my ear with a whole puncher instead of a staple gun and now I have to wears a clip on earing to cover the whole which looks practically like a moron.

**Question 1:**

**_Describe the world you come from; for example, your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations?_**

Wow- where to start? Well I want to design cars so Ill tell you about my Mom who likes to race cars. Shes not a proffesional racer but the hole family jokes about how she is a racer because she drives sooo fast. The **one** time she drove slow she hit a goat. We actually at ethe goat and goat meat tastes nasty. I hear you have engineering classes at you're school. Do you allow us to not take engineering and just do the designing part because I really do not like math but im pretty good at drawing cars.

Here is my car design concept that I drew with a computer to show my cmputer skills. I think I would probably be able to publish if I went to your school. I aleady talked to some companies about this and they were supportive :

(Wish I could show u my drawing but it wont let me)

My concept for this car is based on the Pokemon Scyther. Pokemon has influinced a lot of my life and Scyther is a grass Pokemon so he is ecofriendly. He is also green.

The teeth are for eating cars that get in the way and the seats high up with no roof means it is easy to see the road. The wheels are for decorative prupose because Scyther is really walking with his feet under the car.

Anyway I would love to get to know you and hope to hear back from you and maybe we can have lunch some time. Also you can come to me if you ever have personal problems because I know a lot about life and stuff and could probably help you. Thanks for reading.

**Question 2:**

**_Tell us about the most significant challenge you've faced or something important that didn't go according to plan. How did you manage the situation?_**

First I would like to say that I am a nice guy. If my friends ask me to do anything I will do it for them :-)

Last year I went to Disney Land with my friend Shantell. Just so you know I did not have a crush on her she was just my friend.

Well I was walking behind her and I saw a bra lying on the ground. It was really crowded so I called to Shantell and asked her if she dropped it. Just then another girl came and grabbed the bra. Shantell said to me "Hey thats mine, that girl just took it".

"Are you sure", I said. She said yeah she felt her shirt and there was no bra there.

"Are you sure its yours. Maybe you just forgot to put on a bra today", I was trying to calm down the situation.

"No mine is also white"! she was screaming to get it back so I said ok. But then she grabbed me and said it's embarassing. I said "How am I supposed to get it back then"? Then she was crying.

I felt bad so I said I would help her. I went up to the other girl and said "Can I have that bra back please"

She said "Why"?

I did the hard thing to do but I said it was mine so I could get it back for Shantell without embarassing her. I was trying to be a good friend.

The other girl did not beleive me. She told me to wait. Shantell hid in some bushes during this. It turns out the other girl went and told a security guard about me.

I knew I couldnt make him beleive the bra was mine so I tried to reason with him and show I am not a bad guy.

I said "You saw me when I was in line for the Dumbo ride and I was not a psycho at that time. If you use your reasoning you will see that there is no way I could be a psycho now if I was not a psycho back then, it just doesnt make any cents".

He was asking me to leave the park but I said I would give a bad review online because Disney land is where you're dreams should come true and my dream is not to be kicked out.

I still got kicked out but I do not regret it and think I did the best I could for that situation and over came the challenge while standing up for my friend. I hope that answers you're question :-)

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(Now for Ch 5 lol)

The devil Squirtle purnished Ash for escaping by making him do 50 push ups. It is a bad punshiment for Ash because if you look at him he has no muscle like Brock. Even though he throws poke balls which must be really heavy like a hundred times a day his arms are still sticks (MAKES NO CENTS. if I was in charge of pokemon this would be fixed because its ridiculus. also I just notised that asssting is a lot like ass-sting)

At the same time in heaven Pikachu was getting paid to talk to a hundred hot girls. "This is the same as Earth what is the point even".

At the same time in China AKB48 was getting fired for being seen with a boy. (Remember when they were walking naked down the street with Ash?)

At the same time in Pikachu mansion Rabidash set it on fire because he is secretly an serial asronist.

(I JUST USED ALLITERATION)

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This is sort of important- someone asked me why Squirtle is the devil and there is a reason. don't read this if ur afraid of being cursed.

Like 5 years ago my mom got me a squirtle doll (I dont even like dolls). One day she told me to clean my room and when I moved the squirtle it **STARTED SINGING. **It had never made any sound before. _It sang_

_Head, shoulder, knees and toes_

_Head, shoulder, knees and toes_

Right after that I tried to ride my bike off a roof onto a dumpster and hurt my HEAD SHOULDER KNEES AND TOES.

Say what u want but **I know** its demonic and will not go near that thing. Im not the type to be suspresticious either. I kept it because I might sell it on ebay.


End file.
